


keep your heart strong

by hicsvntdracones



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Anal Fingering, Comfort Sex, Dallas Stars, M/M, Shower Sex, idk i just wanted janny to cry and spezz to kiss him better, klinger is an innocent bystander, shrugs haphazardly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-02
Updated: 2016-05-02
Packaged: 2018-06-05 21:56:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6725098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hicsvntdracones/pseuds/hicsvntdracones
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Matty." Jason says, crowding him carefully against the wall. The fond address makes Mattias close his eyes, lower lip quivering as he tries to maintain control. He kisses Jason, closed lipped and chaste and begging for assurances before Jason calls his name again. "You did good out there tonight, you hear? You did real good." [set 05/01/16 after Dallas' loss to St. Louis in Game 2]</p>
            </blockquote>





	keep your heart strong

**Author's Note:**

> shrugs haphazardly. i wrote this fic in the middle of a lot of swearing and crying about game 2. my tears = janny's tears, i guess idk idk idk. anyway. for this, spezza and janny are in an established relationship sort of thing and poor klinger accidentally hears them gettin it on. title from the lovely ben howard song "keep your head up." also, ao3 user [silkstocking](http://archiveofourown.org/users/silkstocking/pseuds/silkstocking) does not know me but if i loved these two as lineys before, i 100% started shipping them bc of her fic "[veteran presence](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5858860)" which i really hope y'all read. anyway ok here's the fic.

 

 

 

Sharpy's melodic voice floats softly to Jason's ears as the team rustles about in the locker room. They were talking about their daughters, and they're among the few players talking at all After Lindy left, no one had the energy to talk and joke and cheer as they had after the first game's victorious result. A 4-3 loss in overtime will do that, Jason thinks wearily. 

 

Kari tries to speak to his fellow goaltender, but Antti just turns away to bare his sweaty, sunken shoulders to the room. He feels a swell of pity for the look he sees on Jamie's face. Their captain is silently typing on his phone, eyes dark with anger and grief. Jason wonders if Segs texted him. Between he and the goalies, there is enough tension of guilt to suffocate them all.  

 

He barely sees Mattias, curled into his box, head down and hair messily covering his face. Jason hates how the trembling overtakes him. 

 

He watches the rookie grab his stuff and shuffle off to the showers, wiping at his eyes as subtly as he can. When Jason excuses himself and gathers his things to follow, Sharpy just smiles sympathetically and doesn't say a word. Rookies, they've laughed once or twice. Always too emotional, always full of fire and feist, yet they crash so quick and hard. 

 

Jason remembers being like that. He remembers being drafted second overall and how his face hurt from smiling for days after. He remembers the jitters each time the Sens called him up from Binghamton to play that first year, how he started each game with a vow to skate hard and score big. Rookies, he thinks as he follows Mattias into the furthermost stall. The water isn't even running yet, and Mattias is just slumped against the wall. 

 

"C'mere." Jason murmurs, motioning to stand. 

 

It takes only a moment for him to take Jason's outstretched hand. 

 

He runs his hands up and down Mattias' arms and sets him upright for a moment as he turns the water on to a comfortable hot just like the Swede likes.  

 

Piece by piece, he strips them down bare. A heat still lingers with the cooling layer of sweat on their skin. The palm of his hand brushes Mattias' right shoulder where a bruise is already beginning to form from the hard check Backes gave him early in the game. The welt from a puck to the thigh during practice is still dark and undoubtedly sore. Steam fills their stall, and Mattias still refuses to meet his gaze. 

 

"Matty." Jason says, crowding him carefully against the wall. The fond address makes Mattias close his eyes, lower lip quivering as he tries to maintain control. He kisses Jason, closed lipped and chaste and begging for assurances before Jason calls his name again. "You did good out there tonight, you hear? You did real good." 

 

His heart aches when Mattias finally opens his eyes and tears fall down his cheeks in a mess of mumbled apologies. He cups the younger player's face and kisses him slowly, pressing him fully against the cool tile and feeling him jerk closer to Jason's own warmth. Fidgeting hands touch Jason's hips, touch his waist and stroke his sides as Mattias opens himself for Jason to control.  

 

This is how it always goes. 

 

It had been Mattias who first kissed Jason.  

 

Jason swore to himself not to force his feelings on the rookie, told himself to wait and see if it was mutual or not. It had been Mattias who first got on his knees after Jason's power play goal against Vancouver. It had been Mattias who asked Jason to take him home after their New Years' win, and Jason so easily obliged. Even if Mattias initiated, he always ceded control. He let Jason deepen their first kiss, let him touch his hair, grab it tight as he went down on Jason the first time and then every time after. He let Jason buy them a room at the W Hotel, let him lead Mattias to their room, and let him lay Matty back and make love to him til he could barely move in exhaustion. Mattias initiates, but Jason always controls, and that's the way Mattias needs it to be. 

 

Jason steps back and guides Mattias under the hot shower head, lips only inches apart as he mutters the Swede's name with such great fondness it makes him truly melt. Any semblance of "okay" that he had managed to keep in front of their team leaves him now. 

 

"I should've—" He starts to weep, "I should've scored more, I should've been better on the line, I—" His words cut off halfway when he sees the serious look on Jason's face. He takes his hands away from Mattias and moves a few steps to go fetch something from his bag. Matty is pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes when Jason returns and is trying so hard to be strong. 

 

"Matty, there's six of us on the ice," He begins, turning the rookie and pressing his chest flush against his back.  He thinks of a shitty comment to say about sometimes having only five if the refs have targeted Antoine once again, but bites his tongue. "It's not just you out there." 

 

He presses a soft kiss behind Mattias' ear, feels him sway more into Jason's touch. He kisses down Mattias' neck and works a small mark onto the crook of his neck which will disappear before the night's end. Mattias is still crying, his body still twitching with each hiccuped sob. He nibbles on Mattias' ear lightly which always provokes a little ticklish laugh or two and smiles when Mattias finally gives. 

 

"Mattias?" Jason tenses for a brief moment as he hears someone enter the stall next to them and begin to rustle about. There's the sound of Swedish, and he recognizes Klinger. Mattias tries to level his voice when he responds and exchanges a few quiet words while Jason warms the silicone on his fingers. He makes a noise to tell Mattias to be quiet just before brushing his fingers against Mattias' ass. For his credit, the kid manages not to make a single noise, but he grapples to find something to grab onto with his hands as Jason begins to tease his hole with one finger. His left hand is free and takes Matty's own, curling around his chest and pressing them together as he applies just the barest amount of pressure as if about to push in. 

 

Fortune is on their side as someone else — Val, Jason guesses by the low mumbles in some eastern tongue — files into the stall next to Klinger and grabs his attention then. 

 

"Jason—" Mattias squirms back against him, opens his legs wider and begs with silent gestures and the quietest of whines. He thinks briefly about the last shot on goal he took and how Elliot hadn't let any of his attempts through. Matty, though. Matty made it. 

 

Even if it was only one goal, even if Mattias claims it wasn't enough. 

 

He must not have heard how the crowd roared, he must not have seen Spezza nearly dive off the bench to go rush and gather him up into a bone-crushing hug. God, how he wanted to scream. God, how he wished Mattias could see how much he does for the team. 

 

"You …" Matty whimpers, feeling the movement of Jason's lips against his ear, hearing the soft murmurs that Jason himself hadn't even realized he was saying aloud. "You mean it?" 

 

He smiles against Mattias' hair and pushes two fingers inside, feeling Mattias inhale deep. 

 

"I mean it." He exhales as he begins to move his fingers in and out at an easy pace. He wants Matty to enjoy this. He wants Matty to know he's appreciated, that he did well and deserves this. When he crooks his fingers just perfectly, Mattias squeezes his hand tightly and fights a moan as best he can. If the others weren't around, Jason would tell him to be as loud as he wants. It was early on in their relationship that they figured out just how much Jason liked to hear Mattias being vocal. Begging, crying, screaming. Jason loves every noise Matty makes, loves to see him absolutely lost to his pleasures. 

 

He utters a dozen compliments in Matty's ear while he deliberately moves at an unhurried pace. They've done this before, and Mattias knows to quiet his breathing. Later, he knows, later he can be loud. For now, his muted pants mingle with the steam from the shower spray, and Jason dares to add a third finger. Matty groans. Loud.  

 

In an instant, his hand is covering his mouth, but that doesn't stop Klinger from speaking up in concern. Val chimes in too, and Jason decides to continue fingering Mattias as he struggles to answer. 

 

"I hit my shoulder." He manages to say while only sounding slightly distressed. 

 

 "Oh. Backes checked you real good earlier, didn't he?" Klinger — what's the phrase Texans use, bless his heart? — sounds genuinely worried. Matty has always said how dear a friend Klinger is, how glad he was that Klinger was there for him at the beginning of the season, at his beginning in Dallas. 

 

"Mm." Mattias muffles a noise by biting his lip as Jason drags his fingers slowly inside. "It's gonna bruise, but—" He pauses, fights to not just start begging for Jason to fuck him by now. "I'm good." 

 

Jason chuckles mutely against the side of Matty's neck and says yeah. Yeah, he is good. He knows it makes Mattias flush a darker red than he already is, and he begins to suck a dark hickey onto the side of Matty's neck, where the collar of his jersey might cover it. Might not. He revels in the way Mattias has to keep his mouth covered now for he can't be trusted to stay silent any longer. He thrusts quicker, pushing in fast then dragging back out so Matty starts to squirm. His grip on Jason's left hand loosens as he shakily guides him lower. He registers the need swelling up inside of Matty, knows that he needs Jason. 

 

Matty turns his head toward him and gives Jason the perfect angle to kiss his temple adoringly.  

 

"I've got you." He murmurs, wrapping his hand around Mattias' cock and stroking in time with his fingers. Mattias silences himself with both hands, eyes undoubtedly squeezed shut as he fucks himself back onto Jason and then bucks up into his grip. He's close, Jason knows. He noses the back of his ear and smiles against his hair. 

 

"You've been so good, Matty." So good, he repeats heatedly. It takes only another few strokes and a whispered, "Come for me, Matty," and Mattias is jerking in Jason's grip and spilling into his hand. In his daze, Mattias clumsily turns in Jason's grip and leans into his warm embrace. Jason lets the shower wash away the come from his left hand before he starts to rub Matty's back soothingly. His lips are soft and pliant and a pretty flushed red when Jason goes to kiss him again. The look of pure affection in his light, albeit hazy eyes makes Jason smile almost as much as the goal he scored did.  

 

Out there, he smiled for pride. A goal by Mattias Janmark, the announcer cried out over the crowd, over the shouts of the Stars on the bench. First playoff goal ever, and never at a better time. He had watched Eakin slam into Matty to celebrate and smiled so wide, filled with nothing but pride. 

 

In here though, in this embrace, he smiles for love. He tangles his hand with Matty's even as he back away to grab their actual shower supplies.  

 

Mattias is perfectly still under his hands, barely swaying despite the wave of weariness washing over him after his climax. Jason lathers Matty's pretty brown hair with his own shampoo, knowing Matty will realize much later that he smells of Jason. Eyes close, Mattias tilts his head into Jason's touch with the softest hum. 

 

He even uses his own body wash which has an inoffensive and classy smell to it, none of the Old Spice that Val insists to use despite complaints from half the team. He scrubs Mattias well, making sure to be gentle over the welt on his thigh or the bump on his shoulder. He has lost a lot of his juniors weight, gained more muscle that tells of a true NHL player. He still has a ways to go before he becomes the ideal player, but he is already so incredible as is. Jason will fear for their rivals when Mattias hits his peak. 

 

Rookies, he thinks as he cleans Matty's backside with the warm cloth. It felt like only yesterday that he was watching a YouTube clip of Jamie throwing down against the Blues' Johnson in his rookie year. Now, the center stood tall as their captain. Admittedly, there were still moments when the scrappy kid from Victoria came out. Jason half-wished he or Sharp had thrown the gloves on Backes today. Jason specifically remembers Sharpy having a mean right.  

 

Keep your nose clean, score goals, skate hard. That's what Jason had tried to do in his first years and that's how he rose. He knew Mattias would rise too in whatever way his skills manifested here among the Stars. 

 

He gently guides Matty's head to lean back under the water so Jason can wash the shampoo out. He catches sight of the hickey he gave and smiles to himself. Jason could see so much in Matty already. So many people were opening their eyes to realize what a player the kid really was. From the first goal against Fluery to tonight against Elliot. He was racking up points, he was playing hard. He was a Star, and everyone was starting to finally see. 

 

They sway to switch positions so Jason can clean himself as well. The showers are quiet by now, and Jason hazards a guess that they're one of the last five or six players yet to go home. He hears footsteps of someone near the entrance of the shower room. 

 

"Jace, you in here?" Fidds. Jason calls back to him unthinkingly, hand straying in Matty's hair as the Swede buries his face snugly in Jason's neck. 

 

"We're still on for tomorrow, right?" He remembers plans being made at practice Saturday for a lunch on Monday.  

 

"Yeah, 'course." 

 

"Right, see you then." 

 

"See you, Vern." The footsteps fade away, and Jason curls his hand at the base of Matty's neck, tugging his face away from his neck carefully. A groan slips past Matty's lips. 

 

"Want to stay the night with me?" He offers with a hopeful smile that tugs up the right side of his lips. Matty's eyes widen just a fraction before he glances elsewhere and nods. He cups the back of Matty's head and goes to kiss him once more when they hear the squeak of a shower being turned off. Both of them seem to realize at the same time that the noise came right next to them.  

 

"Uh. … Matti?" Klinger stutters something in Swedish after what sounds like him fumbling with a bottle or two of shampoo. Mattias' face is as red as Eakin's sunburn from this summer was. They hear Klinger flee, dropping something as he goes but never returning to fetch it. Jason has never dared to learn Swedish, but he knows the sound of swear words in any tongue. Rookies, he sighs. 

 

On the drive home, Matty admits that Klinger asked him if Jason was in the stall with him before blurting out that he knew Mattias' shoulder wasn't what caused the earlier noise. 

 

Jason tries, he really does try not to laugh, but the sound fills the car, and Matty slumps down far into his seat. Stomach hurting from it all, Jason looks over at Mattias and sees the smallest hint of a smile. This'll do, Jason thinks as he reaches to take Matty's hand in his own. This is better than tears, and for now, until we can win again, this'll do. 

 

 

 


End file.
